Infant And Pregnancy Loss Awareness Day

Today is a day close to my heart. Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. I think this is the worse kind of loss. You have these dreams for this little being. You imagine chasing them around your house, and tucking them in at night. Yet, that opportunity is stolen.

When we lost our little one, I learned a startling fact, 25% of all pregnancies end in loss. Crazy, right?! Unfortunantely, that doesn’t help to close the hole left behind.

As a society we havet his notion that an unborn baby isn’t as important. If we loose one, we should just suck it up and try again. I encountered this attitude 6 1/2 years ago when we lost our little treasure. We had 3 amazing kids and wanted to complete our family with number four. The only child we ever planned and tried for. I remember that ultra sound! My regular doctor was on vacation so I saw a midwife she thought I would get along with. She tried and tried but couldn’t find a heartbeat. She then scheduled us for an official ultrasound the next day. She had given me false hope instead of honesty and afterward, that left a bitter taste in my mouth.¬†Needless to say, I didn’t sleep well that night. I knew something wasn’t right regardless of what she had said.

Infant and Pregnancy Loss Day - My story The next day the technician tried then called in a doctor to confirm my worst fear. This little life was already in Heaven. The man and I wept together. The next week my doctor was back and she called me. I hadn’t had the baby so I decided on a D&C because I wanted to be able to put this misery behind me.
During these hard few weeks, I had a vision. This little boy with long blond hair was running with his arms stretched out. He was running into the arms of the man’s grandma who had died a couple years prior. She had her arms stretched toward him. When he got to her, she swung him around in a circle and they both were giggling. I felt like God was saying she finally has a grandbaby to call her own. She had lost the battle with alzheimer’s and didn’t really get to know any of her grandkids. I found great comfort in this and decided to name him. He deserved at least that much. His name is Lincoln and his heart is forever tattooed next to my other children.

We were told it would probably take a few months for my body to get back to normal and not to expect another pregnancy. Well, the next month we got pregnant and went on to have our most energetic and dramatic child.

I learned and grew so much during this time! If you have experience this type of loss, what brought you through?

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