Are You A Camera Hater? So Was I…

I feel like channeling Maria from the Sound of Music (our youngest watches it almost weekly), “Let’s start at the beginning. It’s a very good place to start…” I purchased my first DSLR a few years back and just wanted nice pictures of my growing kids for the scrapbook. It was a creative outlet for a very busy life. I had no intention of making it a career choice.personal-boudoir-story

After learning how to work this beast, I happily clicked away, avoiding putting that thing on myself. So much of my life had been lived in fear. Here was another one, seeing myself in a picture. What was I afraid of? Being the fatty, the fat friend, the “is that really your mom?” I’m sure you can relate! This body has never been super model status.

One day I decided to face this fear. I knew I could delete the pictures and no one would ever lay eyes on them. I set up my tripod, pulled out my manual to figure out the delay setting, and began. Yup, I deleted them. I kept at it. Kept getting in front of that scary piece of machinery. Rather than just standing there, I would come up with a story to try and convey. Eventually I was brave enough to do that picture over there.

The man and I aren’t what you would call sentimental. Often times, it’s a great year when we remember our anniversary. We prefer kind and loving every day. Well, I wanted to give him a picture for Valentine’s Day. I didn’t say anything about it because I didn’t know if it would even turn out. If I didn’t love it, it would just get deleted.

Nervously I got myself ready and set up the tripod. It was quite a work out going back and forth from the bed to the camera! This was the moment that changed everything. I began to see a goddess rise up. Maybe I wasn’t as fat and ugly as I thought? Well, maybe I was still chubby, but for the first time it was ok. I actually liked a picture I was in!

The more I get in front of the camera, the easier it becomes. The more I learn how to pose a curvy body, the more I like what I see. This is the moment I hope to capture for every woman who gives me the honor. Yes, I consider it an honor because she is trusting me with her vulnerabilities.

I can do it, so can you! Comment below, are you a camera lover or hater?

I am a wife and mother, creator, dreamer, and memory maker.

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